The 6 Most Depressing Happy Endings in Movie History

you want to know something really fucked up?

Andy going to college and abandoning the toys is the alleged plot for Toy Story 3, due out in 2010.

One thing that confused me about the ending of Toy Story 2: When Andy is helping his little sister start to walk, he asks his mom if he can teach her how to drive...and he's like ten years old...?

am i the only one that really hoped that ASS! magazine was real?

Answers to WWu's questions:(hint is to read a few of the books but only a few as a lot of them suck the biscuit)

The Death Star was a top secret project that most of the empire had no idea was going on, hence the opening chase scene of the first movie where they capture Princess Leia to prevent her from telling the plans for the Death Star. Therefore, that's why it was in an out of the way place.

In later books, it's revealed that the emperor or Darth Vader's presence by way of the force causes their forces to fight better in a more coordinated fashion. They call attention to the fact that the big S.D. crashed right after the emperor's death and so on.

No idea about why endor was used.Perhaps what fuels the death star is the corpses of midgets in furry costumes? another design flaw.

The bridge thing? I have no idea. Maybe there was a nuclear reactor there?

Blowing up death star by blowing up one thing? A design flaw? Using cheap Taiwanese parts?

Where was the rest of the Imperial Fleet? In the books, it's explained that the empire never expected a sudden suicide frontal attack so their ships had a design flaw which Commander Calrissian exploited. The flaw was that in close quarters or something laser blasts caused some sort of retardedly explained effect.

I guess the lesson the empire learned from this failure is not to build their entire military around the lowest bidder.

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wildlife15,
1) I'm 22 and I've never ever watched *Star Wars*;
2) I love you for actually reading comments.

Gemoxcore,
If you correct someone, try to be correct. You said...."Dude, get your s**t right. Deus Ex is Latin for "THE MACHINE"
Deus Ex Machina is Latin for "The Machine God."
"Deus Ex" is "god from" and
Deus Ex Machina means "god from the machine", you know..ex...from, out of...A reference to characters in Greek plays suspended by wires and representing gods or godly forces.

A general comment about "Star Wars"..if you're older than 10 and you think these steaming piles are good sci-fi, you have no idea what good sci-fi is. I wish to god these utterly horrible pieces of flotsam had never been made. I feel embarrased for adult fans. Just my opinion.

The thing that sucks the most about progeria is that you do age rapidly, but you don't GROW any faster. That means in real life, Jack would have just looked a frail, shriveled ten-year-old instead of a middle aged man.

wow..WW777..how can Lucas be a disgrace to the Star Wars characters? Didn't he create them? At the least, he owns them? And its fictional..meaning NOT real..my 6 year old child gets that. How come you can't?

WWu777, bob42 and all you other star wars fan boys out there: Shut the f**k up!
When I was a kid who loved star wars almost as much as (somtimes more) than life itself, and so did all of my friends, we were cool. So I never understood the stigma towards the adult star wars geek portrayed in tv and movies etc. Now I do. It was a film, it was a fantasy, it had a PG rating, it was directed at kids. Please stop making up bullshit and assuming "facts" about the star wars universe just to make your s****y point on the internet about which plot lines were plausable and which weren't. It's intolerable the way you all try to be the authoritarian when it comes to star wars. Get a grip. I did.
Star wars worked because it was a fantasy story in a sci-fi world. It was a character driven, visually appealing film that stole good plot lines from classic westerns and samurai films. What made it great on screen had NOTHING to do with being in the realms of believablity, even for its own rules. f**k, listen closely and you'll find that the dialogue was woeful and unbelieavable. Try talking to a girl like Han Solo does to Leia and you'll see what I mean.
Can we all please move on!
For the love of freaking christ, can somebody, anybody, give us a new fantasy world to be emersed in? And no, not Harry Potter, something better. PLEASE!
I'd make it myself but I'm too lazy/untalented.

OH, and this cracked article was pretty good.

Jack does make it to college. He even graduates. Then I'm sure he died.

Being the Huge Star Wars fan that I am I can not let WWu777's comments go unanswered.

1. The emperor couldnt finish the Death Star on Coruscant because that would have been very obvious, and by constructing it in the Endor System gave it a much smaller chance at being detected.

2. The Emperor was there to oversee the final stages of construction of the Death Star, and to Witness the destruction of the rebel fleet, which he had set the trap for.

3. The shield generator was on The Endor moon because it was a massive installation that required more power than a Star Destroyer could muster.

4. The Executor was hit in the bridge by an A-wing fighter. The Auxiliary Bridge was not brought on line in time, and the Executor was caught in the gravity well projectors of the Death Star, causing it to crash.

5. The death Star was destroyed because its main reactor was blown up, which caused a huge explosion.

6. The rest of the Imperial Fleet, after witnessing the destruction of the Empire's two most destructive weapons, Fled at that order of Gilad Pellaeon, who was the captain of the Secondary command ship.

Oh man, I don't even want to KNOW what WuWu has to say about the prequels.

WWu is Fat Comic Book Guy in disguise.

Love the Goonies reference about the bikes!! So true.

I think WWu777 needs to chill. Hello!!! It a MOVIE, not real, get it??

I hate it when people do this type of thin with a movie. I go the be entertained, not pick it a part because it's not believalbe.

BTW, did you all notice the numerous plot holes in ROTJ as well?

I mean, sheesh, where can I begin? They are too numerous to even count.

Why didn't the Emperor finish the new Death Star on Coruscant first, his home base, where it would have been safest, before launching it into space? Why leave it vulnerable out in the Endor system open to attack? That was dumb and made no sense.

In fact, the Emperor committed many reckless strategic blunders in ROTJ. Why did he have to be on the Death Star and expose himself to attack? It wasn't necessary and his presence there added nothing.

And why did the Death Star need a shield generator? Why couldn't this generator be placed inside the Death Star and launch the shield from within? Or be mounted on a Star Destroyer nearby? This was such a hokey plot.

And how can a big flagship like the Executioner go down just by one fighter taking out its bridge. That's how you take out a huge warship? Gimme a break.

And again, how can you destroy a whole Death Star just by blowing up one thing inside. That's lame. Why didn't they just seal off the tunnels inside the Death Star during the attack?

Also, when the new Death Star blew up (hurray... NOT!) where was the rest of the huge Imperial Fleet? Surely the Rebels couldn't have destroyed it. We only see on star destroyer blown up and and the flagship Executioner. What happened to the rest of the ships? Since both the Rebels and the Imperials agree that the Rebel fleet is no match for the Imperial fleet in a head to head battle, how can the Imperial fleet just vanish? Surely it would have finished off the Rebel fleet even after the Death Star was destroyed.

Did Lucas pull a David Copperfield act and vanish the whole Imperial Fleet?

My God, this ridiculous ending and turn of events in ROTJ almost ruin the whole Star Wars trilogy. Only the magic and childhood wonder concept of Star Wars has saved it up to this point.

It seemed that Lucas was in such a rush to finish off the Empire that he turned it into a cartoon at the end.

A more plausible and realistic way to finish off the Empire would have been to have a sort of D-Day large scale invasion, like in WWII. That's how I've always imagined it. Or have a coup from INSIDE the Empire take over or split it up into factions til it became too weak to hold together. Or get gradually weaker until it's no longer powerful. Etc. That's how Empires go down in real life. Not in a cartoon like manner where every big ship goes down for nothing and blowing up one thing ends it all.

Yeah right. I hate movies where all the hero does it blow up one central computer or central host and then all the villains and their ships and armies and robots collapse. Those are always the lamest type of movies. Yet most fantasy movies end that way.

Oh and that scene with Jabba the Hut was horrible. How can Princess Leia have the strength to choke him to death. Get real. And no one helps him either? He could have squashed her any time. And how can a skilled fierce bounty hunter like Boba Fett get killed by an accident like Solo accidentally hitting his jet pack. That was so gay and totally denigrated the mystic and power of Boba Fett.

Another terrible scene was when Boba Fett fell off and hit the sand near the monster pit, he did not have to foll into the pit. ANYONE who's been to a sand dune knows that when you are on a sand slope, you instantly stop. You do not roll down. The fall or roll is automatically stopped. To continue rolling down, you have to EXERT EFFORT in making yourself roll down. ANY fool that's been to a sand dune and tried to slide down can tell you that. A sand dune is not like ice. You do not roll down a sand slope unless you are trying to do so.

I found this out when I was in Great Sand Dunes in Colorado.

Why couldn't Lucas find a better end to Boba Fett than that? Does Lucas actually watch this scene and think it's great? My God. He must be demented. The idiot can't distinguish the difference between ice and sand. Maybe he thinks fire is safe to touch too? It wouldn't surprise me.

My God Lucas...... You are such a disgrace to the Star Wars characters.

I mean, nerds are usually intelligent, but Lucas is a dumb nerd who is in his own world and does not see the bigger picture and lacks insight as well as common sense.

in the star wars books their is a new emperor after the fourth one

This is funny. Poor Biff, I never thought of it that way. He was a jerk, but he was just a kid. And "f**k You Neo". You guys are great.

With regards to the matrix ending, was as contrived as you said but not exactly what you said. The ending merely meant people would wake up again within a new matrix created by sati after the battle where only smiths were left alive. And with zion left alone they would be free to help people out of the matrix, you know with out all that fighting agents garbage that mucks it all up so much. It is still very depressing that you can choose between a fake world and a horribly unpleasant grey life eating synthetic food that looks and im guessing tastes a bit like vomit, but all in all not everyone would die from the shock of the events that ended the series.

Gemoxcore:
Before you go around telling other people to "get their s**t right" you ought to make sure you have YOURS right. The Latin "Deus Ex" translates approximately to "God from" or "God out of" and indeed is from the term "Deus Ex Machina", which is a [form of] "cop-out" plot device. In other words, a classically bad plot device.